Arguments often fuel disputes
Arguments often fuel disputes
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You and your partner consider yourselves pretty good communicators, but let’s face it—occasionally you both lose your tempers and sometimes, you wish you could have a professional mediator in the room with you.

The new book Ask For More: Ten Questions to Negotiate Anything by mediation expert Alexandra Carter is the next best thing.

Our favorite tip from the book? There’s a two-word phrase that Carter uses daily with her husband that she calls “the ultimate open question.” And she not only loves using this phrase in relationships, but she says it works with kids, at work and in any other situation where you might want to diffuse an argument and come to an agreement.

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The two magic words: tell me.

“No question unlocks trust, creativity, understanding and mind-blowing solutions like ‘tell me,’” Carter says in her book. Basically, it’s all about switching perspective.

“It helps us move from a black-and-white (and often biased) view of a situation to what some negotiation experts have called a ‘learning conversation,’ where we grow in our understanding of an issue rather than remain stuck.”

Once you get un-stuck, you can work your way back from the disagreement into a place of mutual understanding—or at least gather some more information about where the other person is coming from.

In fact, Terry Gross of NPR’s Fresh Air told the New York Times that “tell me about yourself” is the best (and only) thing you need to say to open up an interview or conversation.

Another great way to use these two magic words: Instead of asking your spouse “how was your day,” say, “tell me about your day.” This way, instead of inviting the answer “fine” or “good,” you’re encouraging your partner to share absolutely whatever is on his or her mind about what happened today, whether it’s about his botched client meeting or the amazing corned beef sandwich she ate for lunch.

Now, repeat after us: “Tell me more about that corned beef sandwich.”

Source: editor@purewow.com (PureWow)

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ADR DAILY
ADR Daily is a specialized news portal with a focus on providing authentic news, information and research analysis on Appropriate Dispute Resolution (ADR), Human Resource Management (HRM) and Industrial Relations Management (IRM) in Ghana and beyond. This platform serves as an information resource base for the progress of the ADR, HRM and IRM industries, and seeks to promote professionalism in ADR practice by supporting a network of ADR professionals within and across nations and continents. ADR Daily keenly encourages the mass adoption of ADR mechanisms, particularly negotiation, mediation and arbitration for the resolution of disputes in all spheres, through the publication of industry news and information, as well as by deploying innovative awareness creation engagements.